What do I mean by this?
Let me tell you a short story:
Few days ago I was taking part to a meeting where people were incapable of making a decision and taking the lead on a project.
They were dragging their feet and we were not able to progress, in order to fix the deadlines and the action plan, despite the fact that there was a big event coming up with a crucial stake.
I am an action oriented person!
I also have limited patience when it comes to too long meetings.
I am not frustration resilient when I see that the discussions take me nowhere.
I need action!
… and I need it now!
Thanks God I am that coach who manages to manage herself
and
Although I am a very direct person, I can also be a very assertive and sensitive one.
Thanks God I am that trainer that tries everything she is preaching.
Meaning,
I train myself to use all my public speaking skills, even when I want to pass a message to a colleague, especially in a sensitive situation.
In this day I managed to refrain my frustration by promising myself that I will deal with it later and I had 2 objectives:
1. To communicate that we really need an action plan with clear deadlines and responsible people
and
2. To save the relationship with my colleagues while communicating all I had in mind
For that I said to myself “I am okay and you are okay”
and I have asked for the floor!
As a public speaker I knew what messages I need to pass and as a leadership coach I knew exactly what methods I need to use in order to see my two objectives accomplished.
To Transmit: I CARE ABOUT YOU!
I looked into the eyes of my colleagues and I spoke calmly and friendly (… and even if you don’t feel that you are in a friendly state of mind in that moment, if you tell to yourself “I’m okay, you are okay”, you are not judging the person and then the look will be a peaceful one)
To Transmit: YOU CAN TRUST ME!
Show your hands on the table in an open gesture with palms facing the ceiling (to show that you have nothing to hide and you have a constructive attitude)
To Transmit: I CAN HELP YOU!
Show that you understand the difficulty or worry or fear or blockage of the person and you are willing to take some weight from his/her shoulders.
Be positive!
Use “you” - not I (it is not about yourself here)
Make eye contact & Smile!
Use “And” - not but (it is not about contradicting and adding gas to the fire)
Be constructive!
The SECRET is to always start from the common points on which everybody agrees with and don’t say anything negative. Build on what people already are willing to talk without shouting!
Remember public speaking is not a talent, but a skill that you can learn it and that can help you in all areas of your life!
In case you need some guidance on public speaking or career challenges, you can contact me at MonicaDimitriu.COACH@gmail.com
www.MonicaDimitriu.COM
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